Tuesday, May 27, 2008

"Word" to the Jacobs!

For those who know us, on Sunday after church my boys get so excited to make the trip north to Cedar City for hang time with the Jacobs (my cousins)! After these last four weeks, I'm not to sure why they keep letting us come back.

May 4, 2008 . . .My cousin Tanner had somehow acquired some baby ducks (don't ask! I have no idea why) and to keep them warm he had them under a very hot lamp. The reason we know it was so hot was because Taite caught the carpet on fire with it. 
 Teaghen ran through the downstairs yelling "Fire! Fire!" But knowing that they would be in trouble, Teaghen proceeded to slam the door in Jer's face so he wouldn't come in. Thank goodness for Jer's muscles and Teaghen's good mind to yell "Fire!" End result, their carpet was burned and not much else.
May 11, 2008 ... Now it's Teaghen's turn! He will probably 
kill me for writing this one down, but this blog, although for everyone else's entertainment, it is also my journal for my boys.
So Teaghen is good at going the bathroom, not so great at wiping his butt.  So after massive amounts of toilet paper down the Jacobs' toilet . . . yes it ov
erflowed! So you think that is the end of the story! Wrong! This is just the beginning!
The next time he went the bathroom we took the toilet paper out so he would have to ask us for help, thus avoid another clogged toilet. Wow! Did that backfire.
So Teaghen ventured to the bathroom and after
 many minutes I decided to go check on him. (I think the altitude must help clean out his colon!!) I asked how he wiped his butt, and he told me he didn't. So I checked his underwear and yes, there was some nice skid marks. So I washed them out and told him to put his shorts back on until his underwear was dry. He wouldn't hear of it. So he sat his naked butt in the bathroom for the next twenty minutes.
Jer went to give him his underwear when he realized the toilet was clogged again. He brought Teaghen to me, to see if I could figure out what he put down the toilet this time. After yelling and taking him back in forth to the bathroom to have him show me what he put down the toilet, he still would not confess.
The next thing we see is Michael and Jeremiah hauling the toilet to the front lawn. By then I had lost it and spanked him like I never had spanked him!
  A few minutes later Jeremiah comes in the house laughing and tells me to come s
ee this. When I get to the lawn I see the hugest terd! (Is that how you spell terd!) yah! I'm the proud mother of a four year old, that can take a dump so big that it can clog a toilet, that a normal adult can't clog with their crap! (we should have called "World Genius book of records")
We'll after all is said and done I feel like the worlds worst mom. . .first for spanking him for going the bathroom like he should and second his butt probably killed already from the birthing of the worlds biggest poop and I decide to make it hurt a little worse!
May 18, 2008. . . I vaguely remembering saying to Jer as we were driving home, "we managed not to cause to much havoc this week!" Fast forward to Sunday May 25 when we were informed that last week (May 18) that Teaghen and Taite defrosted the small refrigerator
downstair by taking everything out of it and turning the knob for the Temperature to off. But wait there is more! 
They found a whole package of unopened Nutter Butters (cookies). I'm sure they couldn't get the bag open so they decided to jump on it and get it open that way. Needless to say it worked. And the way the crime scene was described, it sounds like someone spun around and around while the contents of the bag flew out making a nice circle of Nutter Butter Heaven! I'm sure someone noticed the mess before we left but felt like they would give us a brake and tell us the next week!

May 25, 2008. . . Taite has been potty training off and on for the last 6 months, and we are doing pretty good with the peeing, but the poo poo is another story! Backup a few days to
 Wednesday when I caught Taite outside straining. I rushed him in the house and sat him down on his little potty and coached him for about 30 min trying to get him to finish his job. 
It became a battle of wills! I lost after 2 1/2 hours.
Mind you, we have done the praising, the star chart, the fire airplane he wanted so bad is on the entertainment center just staring at him, ready to be played with if he would just poo once. Teaghen has even given him on a tour of the Preschool he will get to go to if he goes potty! I even have gone so far as to put him in a cold (luke warm) shower when he messes his pants and I have strapped him in a old car seat in him poopy pants for 15 min. Both of those suggestion came from people who said they worked after only a few times. He still has not pooped in the toilet.
 So it is now Saturday and Taite has gone without pooping for three days! So I gave him two doses of some kids laxative, and stuck him on the toilet. . . no action! So We tried a suppository. By this time it was 9 pm and I thought for sure he would "get'r done!" No dice!
Coming to the present. . . Monday memorial day we spend with our cousins in Cedar! And this is day five with no poop!
  I'm trying to help in the kitchen when Alison, in very few words and a lot of facial expression told us that Taite had gone poop! As I went around the corner there he was, underwear around his ankle laying on the carpet and drawing on his legs with crap! "Bonus" for the Jacobs, some of Taite's artistic work on their carpet! Jer got the carpet and I got the poopy
 kid in the bath!

Any advice for getting Taite pooping in the potty, will be taking with great appreciation!

Most days I dream of having a large house where my kids could go and play and I could have peace in the West Wing of our "Day Manor"! But after the last four weeks I'm glad for my small house, where I can run to see what is happening in seconds! But don't get me wrong! If we ever can afford a large house I'm moving in and locking my boys in a fireproof, washable, padded room, while I read a book!


The Colvins said...

Jackson put me through the same "crap"--I'm so sorry you're having to go through it too! During that time my mom just kept reminding me that "this too shall pass" while I kept thinking you try and live through this! I wish I had some advice, but I don't. Finally after his 4th birthday we got him potty trained. I thought that day would never come--I was so worried that I would have to send him to kindergarten in diapers--poopy diapers at that! I guess all I can say is that it will happen--eventually. Just keep writing down the gross stuff he does so he can read it when he has kids that do that to him!

Cher said...

Ryanne! Some kids just won't do the doo until they are ready. My nephew Jake didn't until well into his 4th year. I wish I had some magic adivice but I don't. I remember Bentley used to hide in the closet and poop his pants. Jake's parents tried everything! Hang in there!
You are so funny by the way I was cracking up while reading your blog! P.S. you need my link on there.

Threlfall Mysteries said...

Love your blog. I miss you guys. The video of Tavin talking is amazing. I'm dying to see the one of Teagan sleeping, but it said it is temporarily not working. I really want to see it thought, so I'll check back later. It sounds like you're doing good. I miss you guys. Tam

steele life said...

how cute. your kids sure are funny!