Monday, July 13, 2009

Let them eat cake!

I forgot to mention that yesterday at 6am I walked into the kitchen and saw CAKE everywhere!

We were going up to Cedar City to celebrate my Uncle Stan's birthday, and you know what you have to make for someone's birthday! A CAKE! I guess Taite thought that he had seen me make a few cakes and that he could do it all by himself.

There was stuff everywhere. He had my big metal bowl on the floor in front of him, with a few different kinds of spoons, and a container of frosting. The floor was covered in towels to soak up all the water he had everywhere. He was using a cup from a superheroes memory board game to measure the frosting that he was mixing into the cake mix.

I was so mad I told him to go get back in his bed! He started to walk down the hall, his little butt in superhero underwear was sticking out of his pajama shirt and on both hands he had my oven mitts that were as big as his arms! With his shoulders and head hunched down he slowly walked to his bed. I stopped him to get my oven mitts back. To my suprise when he took off the mitts his hands looked like lemon cake! He had cake all the way up to his elbows!
If I wasn't so tired I would have laughed.

So back to my broken washer... I have smoky camping clothes and blankets, pee pee sheets, skid marked underwearssssss, and now hordes of wet towels and sticky oven mitts to wash!

Wash This!

Yes don't laugh that is really me! Working my fingers to the BONE!

What a day! So I really think that I must be attracting bad into my life because is seems as though S**t has hit the fan at our house.

Last week or so, Taite almost killed my mothers dryer and now I blame him for my broken washer! Really it isn't his fault that our washer broke, but I just want to blame someone.
Yah our transmission went out. I didn't even know that a washer has a transmission. But for the last month or two when the washer got to the spin cycle it sounded like a 747 was taking off in our laundry room.

Our neighbor is an appliance fix it guy. He is awesome! Shout out to Jose! He was like the doctor that comes in and tells you, your washer has gone on to a better place.
Really I think our washer really just wanted to get away from Taite's divinely smelling sheets and his (Sing to the tune of Brittany Spears song "oops I did it again!") "oops, I did it again. I pooped in my pants. Better hide them from mom, cause she's gonna be mad!"

I don't think that this could have come at a better time. We just got back from camping on Saturday and brought every blanket we had in the house to make a soft bed for the boys and of course all our other clothes smell like smoke. Then yesterday while at my cousins Taite peed and pooped his pants not once but twice. And don't forget Taite wet the bed last night. So we have that lovely aroma along with smoky campfire, making my house smell oh so manly! Oh yah I forgot to say that we are leaving Wednesday afternoon for California. So I either pack dirty clothes or ... I send out good thought to manifest a nice front load washer of someone's grandma's that just died and they don't need it.

So if your grandma died or just have a spare washer you want to give away... call me 862-7560.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

I like my eggs nice and fluffy.

Going to my parents house is always fun. Maybe, for the first few hours. They have white walls, white carpet, and white couches... and I have three boys.  Do I need to explain further?

It all started the night before. Taite had be complaining that his stomach hurt. Yah Yah whatever. Be tough you're a Superhero! Then I realized that the cold medicine I had been giving him was backing up the ol' plumbing! It plugs up every orifice in the body, no running nose, no poop! So that night Taite was finally able to relieve himself. When he flushed the toilet that dang cold medicine plugged up the toilet too. After many attempts of plunging with a really "crappy" plunger that keep flipping inside out, the water started to go down. Not great but it was slowly going down.
The next morning when I flushed the toilet it didn't go down, it came up and keep coming up until the bathroom was swimming in pee water! So my lovely father pulled up the toilet to see if we could see anything. Sure enough it was pink and looked like some kind of toy. We still didn't get it out and my Dad had to go to work. So the toilet was left in the back yard waiting to be hosed out when my dad returned. I'm pretty sure I know who did it.  Tavin loves toilets and love putting things in the toilet!

We all racked our brains trying to think of what could be in there. Then my niece Natalie asked where their toothpaste had gone! We all looked at each other and started laughing. It was their toothpaste, their pink Barbie toothpaste, was logged in the S curve. I called my dad laughing and told him that, "Barbie got S**t faced!" That was the beginning of a wonderful day! Determined that I was going to workout, I grabbed my ipod and headed out to the garage. As I came through the door I saw Taite standing on a step stool with a carton of 18 eggs in hand, and the look of a deer in the Headlights. 

The other part of the picture took me a few minutes to process. He had the door open to the dryer and an egg in hand. "What are you doing?" I so quietly YELLED! As I walked over to the dryer and to see the damage my mouth dropped to the floor. It looked like IHOP, Denny's, and Village Inn had exploded in my mother's dryer!
I grabbed the carton of eggs from him and quickly figured out that he had thrown 14 eggs in the dryer. Not only had he thrown them in the dryer but he started the dryer too. Eggshells and yokes where everywhere.

I'm sure the whole neighborhood knew what had happened cause you could hear me yell for miles.
"Why did you do this?" I asked
He replied in a questioning tone, as if to get approval from me, "I wanted some eggs?"
"When was the last time I let you make eggs by yourself?"
"When was the last time you saw mom make eggs in the dryer?"
No answer. Which my kids have learned well, when I really want them to respond to my questions and when I don't.

Forty five minutes of windexing (my parents have no "all purpose" or "get egg out of your dryer" cleaner) the dryer it was back to normal. Word to the wise, don't stick your head in a warm dryer after spraying it down with cleaner, unless you are just trying to make everything disappear, including yourself.
I got my workout done. Had a fun day with my sisters and nieces. Came home helped dad get the toilet back together. Made the kids dinner, and while transporting the food to the table I caught my baby toe on a chair. Instead of swimming in a pool of pee water like that morning, I was swimming in a sea of profanity (in my head), cause I BROKE MY TOE!

Chef Taite!

Yesterday Taite tried to make popcorn with, popcorn, oil, and half a bag of flour. Today he tried to make cookies... I caught him in time and I finished them for him. I think I have a chef on my hands... now which one of my other boys is going to be the janitor.
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